Poor Timing
The reason for the blitz of posts last week (which disappointingly only tied, rather than set, my all time record) is because I wanted to get the frivolities out of the way and move on to the serious. For I had things to say, and things to do. But there have been external factors that have lead me to question, “You’re not seriously going to do that now are you?”
“Do you ever write stories?” I was asked recently.
What do you think I’m doing here? Oh, fictional stories. No, I really don’t. I write stories with my life. At least, I write them down, if they’re interesting. Or not.
I was also asked about a particular post from long ago, by someone who wanted to hear “the rest of that story.” Whatever do you mean? There is no more to that story. Then it hit me: Bull. Shit. For while there really wasn’t any more to add about that incident, the circumstances were but a piece of a much larger framework. In fact, it may be the key piece for which a part of me had been subconsciously searching.
I had recently reread a number of older posts while searching for something in particular. It struck me that in a number of them, while I was clearly talking about one thing, I would leave a hint, perhaps even one slightly incongruous sentence, of something else entirely. To me they were as plain as day, though I could not help but wonder if it was so obvious to others, being that I have certain inside information, as it were.
So I lay pondering all these things late at night when suddenly it all snapped into place. It was like a flashback sequence at the end of an M. Night Shyamalan film where all the isolated incidences suddenly converge, with the mocking, “How did you not see?” But I did see, of course. It’s just that each point, I chose to ignore the implication and look in a different direction. I never realized that one could stand in one place and see the whole line from beginning to end. Now that is a story. As I’ve mentioned before (#3), I do love a good story.
At least, at 4:00 am, it seemed like the greatest story I’ve ever known. In the morning… less so. Could I possibly tell such a tale without making myself a total fool? And reaction to it might be… unpredictable. So, despite the flurry of inspiration, I have yet to write a single word of it. Which I realize is a lot of hype for no pay-off whatsoever.
Which returns me to my original point of what to do now; now that there are things afoot that I could not foresee and do not yet understand? I feel as though I am poised to commit a great mistake, perhaps several in a row. Is this really the time to be burning bridges and betraying friendships? Then again, when is the best time for such things?
Only truth will set you free Tim…dig deep and if you can, seek God to find if your perception clouded by pain is truely, truth.