Where’s the Fun?

This entry was posted by on Tuesday, 28 April, 2009 at

The creator of one of the webcomics that I enjoy, but has not updated in quite some time, had this excuse to offer: “Part of the reason we’re so late is that 2008 didn’t actually happen.” So it wasn’t just me then.

I was walking down the street recently when I happened to pass a ringing pay phone. Naturally, my first thought was, “They still have pay phones?” Quickly followed by the internal debate as to whether or not to answer. Perhaps I might win something. Maybe it would be the start of a grand adventure. Or maybe it was a psychotic sniper who would shoot me if I hung up. Ultimately, I determined that it was astronomically unlikely to be for me and just kept walking. Heck, I never even answer my home phone, and have to be in the right mood just to answer my cell. But you know that mother would have answered it. Oh well, she was not there. And let’s be honest: if I actually believed that she A) has any sort of awareness of what I do or do not do and B) could find no greater cause than that to be disappointed in me, then I would be having a very good day indeed.

Later, in conversation, someone expressed a fondness for my sister. When I questioned how this person knew anything about my sister, it eventually became clear that the opinion was based on a comment or two left on my blog, not by my sister, but in fact, by a cousin. I do not know if it was because of my never-volunteer-information policy, my don’t-rock-the-boat tendency or something else, but I resisted the desire at that point to declare, “She’s married… TO A WOMAN!” just to see the resulting facial expression. Which is too bad really, it might have been entertaining.

The two anecdotes above actually took place on the same day. The reason that I was somewhat uncharacteristically out and about the town that day is that I was feeling a little frustrated and more than a little glum. As I have alluded to before, I had come to a point a few months ago where I realized that I had basically spent an entire year just killing time while talking about the end of the world. I made the decision then to commit another year toward pursuing the projects and ideas of which I have long dreamt. For if the world should happen to end anyway then I am no worse off, and if it does not then whatever the outcome, I will at least have the satisfaction that I tried. However, on the particular day in question, after a month and a half with nothing to show for it, I was already considering declaring the mission a failure and perhaps using the 10+ remaining months to get a head start on something actually productive.

That was two weeks ago now. Where does the time go?

One Response to “Where’s the Fun?”

  1. Cousin Julie

    Whoo! Fame! Heh. Interesting overall post, but of course I’m caught up in my own little supporting role. In any case, something you said here AND in your post about your mom not knowing about Katrina reminded me of a movie in which (I never saw it, so this is something I am paraphrasing from an NPR description) the film-maker was asked to make a movie about the end of the world. And he did, but he focused on a man who had just lost his wife and was feeling upset and bitter that everyone was so freaked out about the pending asteroid (or whatever was going to wipe out the earth) that his own grief was minimized and forgotten. Our own worlds are the only worlds we have, though the edges that bound them ebb and flow in size. It sounds like yours are flowing outward right now. Mine have ebbed inward, but I feel the need for a shift in tide.


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