Grave Secrets

This entry was posted by on Wednesday, 4 February, 2009 at

I spend a fair amount of time thinking about my own mortality. Probably more than most people, but then, I figure that most people probably do not ride a bicycle late at night with questionably adequate lighting. When I do, I think about what might happen if I was killed. My affairs are not exactly what one would call “in order.”

I wonder if my family would have the funeral here, there, or just wherever they happen to be. I wonder what sort of service they would do and if they would know whom to invite. Will they be able to say, “It’s what he would have wanted”? Good luck with that.

Of more immediate concern, if I were to die, then my place of residence would be examined, my effects sorted. And what sort of things would they find? For, blog aside, I am an extremely private person, and I have secrets. First of all, there would be evidence of many projects, both physical and computer-based, most abandoned in various stages of completion. It used to be my policy to never speak of whatever I might be working on until it was finished. That way if I succeeded, I could impress people by pulling something seemly out of nowhere, and if I failed… no one would ever know. I have relaxed this considerably in recent years, probably to my detriment, but there are still projects which I have never mentioned to anyone, and I wonder how many of my ideas will anyone be able to make heads or tails of.

Then, of course, there is my life. Past, present, future. Events, situations, goals… certain things that other people might know about only because they were directly involved, not because I have ever shared with anyone. I imagine that some things might come to light that would surprise people who thought that they knew me. And there are some secrets that I would take to the grave.

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