Archive for September, 2008

Unresolved

Posted by on Friday, 12 September, 2008

In some cultures, dreams are important. They may be a connection with the spirit world or reveal greater truth than the waking world. In the Bible, Jacob dreamed of ladder to Heaven. His son, Joseph, was the king of dreams. Another Joseph was told in a dream that his wife to be was with child by the Holy Spirit, then later told to flee to Egypt. God spoke to others in dreams: Pilate’s wife, Cornelius, Abimelech, and others.

In our culture, dreams are not so important. Some would say they are little more than the brain entertaining itself. I generally believe that dreams tell you what’s really going on inside yourself, where the lies you tell yourself and others have no hold. I kept a record of my dreams for a period, but like all things, I lost interest after awhile.

A few nights ago I dreamed that I proposed to an eligible young lady. One of those people that you know in the dream, but upon waking you find yourself asking, “Wait… who was that supposed to be?” But though in the dream I knew her, I did not know her well. She was someone from Bible study group, but with whom I had little interaction outside of that. Yet I proposed, in accordance with my previously admitted poorly conceived master plan. There followed a terribly long silence. I had plenty of time to think of how this was the worst idea I’d ever had, and now I’d actually gone and done. Fortunately she is certain to say no, and the whole business will be done with. I eventually became so embarrassed that I could no longer face her and hid behind something like a shopping cart (but not exactly) such that I was only looking at her through a long metal tube. Then her eye appeared at the opposite end. “Okay,” she said. “Let’s give it a shot.” That was not the answer I expected. We are actually going to do this.

Then the dream changed. I was in the front row at some kind of aquatic stunt show with some of my friends. But before the show even began, Penn (of Penn and Teller), dressed as a pirate, came and told me that I could not sit there. While my friends stayed put, I went to the back of the theater, which happened to be where the AV techs were stationed. Somehow I was chosen to be one of about a dozen or so audience participation members and was being taken backstage. We were told that we were required to wear life-jackets, but I somehow was separated from the group while looking for one. I also had some kind of interaction with the prop-master, the details of which I do not remember. Then I remembered that I was engaged to that girl. It had been three days and I had not seen her or called her or anything. What kind of a jerk am I? She has probably told everyone she knows by now and me… I had not told anyone at all, even these guys I was with today. Was it too late to call this whole thing off?

I share that for entertainment. Most of my dreams of late have been of a different sort. Over the past few weeks, I have had half a dozen or more dreams about a certain someone from the past. Things were not left on the best of terms. I dream about pride, and the distance between us. The question is, why now? It’s been years… what would you have me do?

My heart is crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding
Love
–Leona Lewis