Three Revelations

This entry was posted by on Friday, 9 March, 2007 at

I had thoughts for three separate posts floating around. The first one was meant for back in December, but Blogger wasn’t being nice to me then and I never ended up posting it. The second two were thoughts from this week, or today as the case may be. I decided to just have a three-for-one sale, as they are somewhat loosely related.

1. If Only For A Moment It All Makes Sense
Men tend to value and desire the physical aspect of a relationship. Women prefer the emotional connection.

This is not to say that men do not want or need emotional connection, or that women don’t desire physical connection. Quite the contrary in fact. But from my observations of humanity, for whatever reason, men focus on the one while women focus on the other. As far as drastic oversimplifications go, I feel that this is pretty solid. Of course, there are always going to be just enough of both men and women on the opposite side of the fence to confuse everybody. Forget about them. Are you with me so far?

Sometimes men desire (or worse – think they can get) the physical connection “for free,” i.e. without emotional commitment. Such men are called “scum-bags” (or your colloquial equivalent.)

I assume that I haven’t said anything revolutionary so far. Here’s the insightful bit: sometimes women also think that they can get the emotional connection “for free.” I don’t know of a corresponding colorful term for this, because I’ve never even heard it acknowledged as a problem before. In fact, I believe that this is considered perfectly normal.

I further propose that, just as a woman might desire to save herself physically for the right man, so a man desires to save himself emotionally for just the right woman. (By “man,” of course, I take what I know of myself and extrapolate to the rest of my gender.)

This doesn’t work. A relationship needs both, and you can’t really get away with either one without the other. Not for very long anyway. This, I believe, is what is confusing the bananas out of everybody. (And by “everybody,” of course, I just mean myself again.)

2. Dammit
So I ask myself, “Why are you only mean to the people you care about?”

The obvious answer:
“What are you talking about? I’m mean to everybody.”

Indeed, upon reflection on the past, I seem equally likely to snub a total stranger or my closest friends. Oh well then, that’s sure a relief. Ain’t nobody getting through this wall.

3. Story To Remain Untold
I had the startling realization today that as much as I desire- or think that I desire- true love, what I actually want deep down is a really good love story.

I met this girl once and I was interested in her and she was interested in me and we started dating. And that may make for a good relationship, but it just doesn’t make a very good story. Especially when I have the remains of a better story still dancing around somewhere in my head and in my heart. This explains why tend I to wait until I’ve already lost before I even really start trying… because that’s the point where it gets interesting.

I need to be able to say that I’ve climbed mountains and fought dragons just to be with you… especially since I’ve done such things in the past.

I’m not trying to suggest that this is good or even remotely productive, because as a matter of fact, it isn’t. Did you know I was a hopeless romantic? I did… It’s just that I forgot a long time ago.


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