Will You Look At the Time?

This entry was posted by on Wednesday, 20 September, 2006 at

I was doing some internet research of profound unimportance yesterday, and came across the claim that the “Lappy” era of Strong Bad emails has lasted for almost two years now. (If you do not happen to know what that means, I honestly can not stress enough how much better off you would be to NOT try to find out. Seriously.) Two years? That just couldn’t be right. So I looked it up (with the cursed miracle of the internet) and found out that the era in question began in November of 2004. 2004?! No, no… that must be a mistake… it must mean 2005

Unfortunately, it doesn’t. Do you know what this means? I’m not just wasting days or weeks, but wasting whole years… [the best years]… of my life… (and you say this as if it were a surprise?)

So anyway, speaking of “cursed miracles,” I often consider myself “cursed with blessings,” in the sense that so many opportunities come my way that I have a tendency to just ignore them. “I need time to think things over… I don’t need to act on this right now, I can do it next time… There’s always a next time… Always.
So I wait for the perfect opportunity. I wait, as days turn to weeks turn to years. I let chance after chance pass me by because it just wasn’t “perfect enough.” Such a foolish, arrogant security. Because there isn’t always a next time. You never know which chance will be the last; you don’t know how many grains of sand are in the hourglass; every time you say goodbye, you don’t know if it’s forever. All the while, I stand there waiting.

So that’s the story of my life… but no, this recent waiting is different. I haven’t been waiting for an opportunity, I’ve been waiting on something else this time. I’ve been waiting for a savior. It’s not my move. Or is it? I try to keep busy. I try to do the things I think I’m supposed to be doing in the meantime. Mostly I just wait. Kill time, and wait.

Is it me then? Is there something more I should be doing? Am I not trying hard enough? Are my priorities not straight enough?

I can’t wait anymore. I can’t.
Please, I just can’t.

Ah, you say that. But you can and you will. And I have to, because where would I go?

-Let’s go.
-We can’t.
-Why not?
-We’re waiting for Godot.
–Samuel Beckett

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